With less than a week to go before the release of my new CD, it's time to make sure my styling sends the right message. If I'm going to be out there promoting and getting photographed, I have to ensure that those photographs portray me as the kind of person the people at the extensive marketing team at my label want me to be.
The look we've settled on is "alternative comedy." You know, the cool comedians, the kind of comedian indie music hipsters rally around; because if you get the pretentious and ironically stylish to follow you, Hollywood will fall in line. Have you ever wondered why you see the same ten comedians in every comedy film that's been released in the past 5 years? It's because they have been anointed as "cool." I need me some of that anointment.
Let me take you through the plan:
Picture 1: Before
This is absolutely no good. First of all, the smirk makes me look like I have confidence in what I'm doing, and confidence in what I'm doing would indicate that I've planned and rehearsed what I'm going to do on stage. Alternative comedians want you to think that they've neither planned nor rehearsed anything. If something ends up being funny it's simply because they're geniuses. Remember, effort is not cool.
Secondly, that shirt. No way. A collared shirt? That makes me look like I have a job. Nothing kills the alt. comedy aura faster than looking employed.
Picture 2: new shirt, new expression.
Much better. Note the ambiguous expression, could be confusion (I don't understand the world, here's my take), it might be a slightly plaintive plea to the audience (please have empathy for my skewed worldview), or it could be a blank stare (I'm so deep, my genius mind is elsewhere).
Also please note the shirt change. Instead of the collared dress shirt we now have a t-shirt with a preciously humorous but not really trying to be funny motto.
Picture 3: new do
That short hair wasn't working at all (see above re: employment). What I need is something kind of artsy, wistful, something that looks effortless.
Of course, to look effortless I'll need to hit a salon that will probably charge $60 for the do, and I'll need tons of styling product and a lot of time to get it just right. With the short hair I needed nothing but a $12 haircut every four weeks so one could argue that the short hair was truly the way to go effortless, but this makeover is about looking
the part, not being
the part, so a mop top it is.
Picture 4: facial hair
And finally, nothing says alt. comedy like a big, nasty beard. The bushy beard says "yeah, I know I'm in Hollywood trying to sell a script but I could just as easily be fly fishing in Bozeman, Montana." You want to give the impression that you spend too much time thinking deeply and uncovering the secret one-liners of the universe, you can't be bothered to worry about your appearance. You only set foot outside of your hermitage to do sets at the most influential of trendy comedy shows.
I think we're in good shape now. Look for me and my new look out there on the comedy scene plugging the hit alt. comedy/indie music album Songs From The Second Floor.
Available Sep. 15 at Digstation
, CD Baby
(hopefully, if they get their asses in gear with their site redesign), and eventually iTunes, Amazon and more.
Catch the West Coast CD Release Party on Sep 15th in L.A.!
Songs From The Second Floor CD Release Party
Tuesday, Sep. 15
seating at 7:45, show at 8:00Genghis Cohen
740 N. Fairfax
Los Angeles, CA 90036
310.578.5591 for more info on the club/show