Monday, August 31, 2009

New CD Promotional Campaign #1: A Rob P. Signature Scent

In order to roll with the big dogs in the music industry, you know--the Puffys, Jay-Zs, J-Los, Britney Spearses, the Luciano Pavarottis--I decided that I too needed a signature scent. I mean, just because I'm releasing my CD independently doesn't mean I can't employ some of the same mass market strategies of the major label artists, does it?

Actually, as it turns out, it does. Signature scents are a bit harder to put together in the DIY world than I thought. I don't have access to the animal testing, the custom glassware and the maquiladoras that the pros use.

But I still want to get this done, so I've decided that instead of selling the actual fragrance (yes, it's neither a 'cologne' nor a 'perfume' because I want it to be non gender-specific like CK Be or Pee Wee Herman) I'll be releasing the secret formula for my fragrance so you can mix up your own batch at home.

Ingredient 1: 40% Deep Woods Off

My scent is about being adventurous while also being responsible. Deep Woods Off brings to mind those long days and nights of summer camp, when you escaped the authoritarian rules of your parents and struck out on your own. You were ready to experience all that this world had to offer, but on your terms. The mosquitoes were kept at bay and people who could smell the slightly acrid industrial notes of repellent on you knew that you weren't one to get pushed around by nature.

Ingredient 2: 25% Vanilla Extract

Just a hint of vanilla in my signature scent will take people back to a time when cookie batter was mixed in a bowl, not cut from a tube. You take the time to carefully craft things, not choke down mass-produced corporate confections, and people will smell the air of refined taste in your presence.

Ingredient 4: 35% Old Spice.

Smells of Our Fathers could be a great memoir, but you won't have to read anything to know that Old Spice will circumvent any rational thoughts and go straight to those daddy issues we all have, good or bad. For the man, a little Old Spice will attract the woman who may not have gotten enough paternal attention and will therefore have lower self-esteem and a higher need for attention from you. For the woman a dash of the Spice will allow you to break down gender barriers and become your own authority figure. The resulting confidence will be the ultimate allure.

I hope to smell you all at a show soon!