Thursday, August 16, 2007

Can we stop "pairing" things?

I've officially become sick of the word "to pair" in all of it's conjugations when referring to putting two food items together.

At first the term had sort of an erudite and refined (i.e. snobby and high-fallutin') feel to it. Chefs referred to pairing wines with meals, pairing the right salad with the proper entree, pairing your bill to a maxed-out credit card.

But then, about a year ago I heard the term in an Applebee's commercial. The chef who designed the meals (not the people who microwave the plates at the local franchise, I'm assuming) talked of 'pairing' a salad with one of his new steak dishes.

"Pairing"? At Applebee's? Yes, let's pair the jalapeño poppers with the group of loud and drunken salesmen at the bar. Or maybe we could pair six house salads with the group of teenage girls that just came from the mall (separate checks please).

But the final, shark-jumping blow to "pairing" comes this week in a commercial for a Wendy's chicken sandwich that suggested that the viewer "pair" it with a milkshake.

Come on, Wendy's! What are you thinking!? It's not a pair, it's a freakin' combo! That's like saying we're pairing General Tso's chicken with pork fried rice.

If these ad people keep this kind of B.S. up I'm going to pair my foot to their ass.

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