I'm going to start smoking
I'm not a smoker, never have been, but I'm getting so annoyed by the anti-smoking commercials on t.v. that I think I'm going to start purely out of spite.
I'm especially annoyed by a recent commercial in which someone takes what is said to be a human aorta and squeezes goo out of it to show that smoking increases the risk of heart disease. I'm not a smoker, why the f&*$ do I need to see this? Why punish the entire population just because some out there choose to risk their health by smoking?
Sure this commercial might get a few people to quit, but I'm sure there are more non-smokers out there like me whose family has a history of heart disease that just get stressed out by it. In fact, this commercial is probably raising my blood pressure to unhealthy levels because now all I can picture in my mind are goo-filled aortas. By trying to save smokers they're endangering those of us who are smart enough never to start.
Crimony, I need a cigarette to calm myself down.