Sunday, October 29, 2006

A Modern Day (Culture) Warrior

So Rush (Limbaugh) said that in Michael J. Fox in those campaign ads was either faking symptons or not taking his medication.

What does Rush know about not taking medication? He takes medication for fun. He has his housekeeper buy medication for him so he can take extra.

Hey Rush, just because you start shaking when you stop taking pills doesn't mean that someone with parkinsons does.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Scranton TV Rocks!!!

So I'm hanging out in my hotel room after my show here in Scranton, debating whether or not to drive back to the city tonight, and as I'm flipping through the channels I come across, on public t.v.'s channel 44...


Oh my f&%^ing heck I LOVE Polka!

The band is set up on small risers at a local soundstage, there's a curtain backdrop with images of music staves projected on it by way of lights with gobos, the singer's wearing lederhosen, and there are about 20 couples dancing in front of the musicians. The youngest person has got to be at least 60 and there's so much puffy silver and blue hair flying around it looks like a cotton candy machine.

Now there's just one couple dancing as the rest watch, like a polka Soul Train line.

Someone's going to have a heart attack before this thing is over. It might be me, this music is insanely upbeat and cheery. Next time I'm depressed I'm not listening to Radiohead or Nirvana, I'm going on strict polka therapy, I'll either snap out of it or kill myself.

Holy crap, this dude's accordion is electric! How cool is that?

As a comedian I know I should be watching the late night talk shows, keeping my finger on the pulse of comedy and current events, but I can't turn away!

Great, this will probably go on for hours, I won't be able to turn it off and go to sleep, and tomorrow when I need 2 Red Bulls to make the short drive back to the city I'll have polka to blame.

I wonder if my satellite radio has a polka channel?

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Kickin' it Midwest Style

I'm chillin' at my bunker here in the heartland after a really fun show down in Jacksonville, Illinois. I'll be back downstate next month for a NACA conference in Peoria, Illinois. Peoria!! Woo!!

That's the first time Peoria's ever gotten a 'woo'.

But now I'm bored. Yep. Bored.

My next show isn't until Wednesday and it's all the way near Philly so tonight I had to pick where I'm going to stay tomorrow night (I can't drive all the way to Philly and be in any condition for a show). Picking a town for an off night can be tricky because by the maps and internet descriptions you can never tell if your hotel is near anything interesting or in a creepy part of town next to abandoned K-Marts and such.

So I picked Harrisburg, PA. I figure it's the capital of Pennsylvania so there's at least got to be some bar where the legislators get drunk and bribe each other. And though I can't be sure from the map, I have a feeling that I'll be in the suburban sprawl zone near the big box retailers and the chain restaurants. Will there be an Applebee's? A Chili's? A Lone Star Steak House?

Tune in Wednesday to find out. I'll save you some leftover fried apps.