Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Why I Hate This Car


No, not because it's a Mini. Because it's a Mini with a child safety seat in the back.

Everytime I see this car I want to yell "you guys shouldn't be parents!!!" Only a self-absorbed yuppie hipster (yupster?) would hang on to a Mini to cart his toddler around town. Does your kid's Playskool record player only play Coldplay? You secretly wish Banana Republic had a kids collection, don't you. Don't you?

And then there's the luggage compartment on the roof. Oh, you need a little more space? Buy a bigger friggin' car!

It's obvious this Mini doesn't meet your needs so you're only hanging onto it for style points. Any time I see someone sacrifice functionality, quality of life, and family well-being for style points it makes me nuts.

And don't buy an SUV or a minivan. Whatever happened to the station wagon? The Vibe, The Matrix, Ford Focus 5, all cute wagons. Hell, buy a Volvo or a Subaru, isn't that what your people do?

Trying to fit your family life into this tiny little car is like trying to squeeze a 42" waist into 32" pegleg plaid pants from Hot Topic. It's time to move on. You're parents now. Be good ones.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Listen to Curling!

Turn on women's curling from the winter Olympics, crank the sound up really loud on your t.v., leave the room and listen.

Now tell me it shouldn't be rated "TV-MA"

Holy crap!

I had it on in the background while I was unpacking from my road trip and thought I had somehow gotten a free weekend of the Spice Channel.

I love curling!

Yes! Yes! Si! Si! Da!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

If I'd have just brought that one cord...

...I could have posted some cool pics from Zanies, hanging around in Chicago with me buds, etc. I travel with a veritable mobile design center, but I've come up one cord short on this trip.

I do however have some video footage of a guy at the comedy club this past weekend who brought his own beer cozy. He ordered bottled beer, took out the foam zippered beer cozy he brought from home, and zipped it up around his bottle in order to enjoy his beer and the comedy that much more. Gotta admire the dedication. Brooke, the emcee last week, was kind enough to point it out and I had to use the night vision setting on my spiffy new video camera to get a good look at it, but I have documentation. It should make one of the next installments on my video blog (as soon as I get back to my apartment and start editing).

Zanies was a hell of a lot of fun last weekend, all five weekend shows were sold out and the crowds were great, even the 11:15 show on Saturday, which is usually filled to the brim with loud and unruly drunks, was fun.

I'm even hanging a couple of extra days to hit The Elevated on Wednesday, which is a great independent comedy room here in Chicago that's been running for over 9 years. The show takes place in the back room of a bar which is a good thing, because later in the night in the front room a local production company runs a rap battle where you'll find mostly white emcees hurling homoerotic insults at each other for 8 bars at a time. That show is also hilarious but for other reasons.

Thanks to all who came to the shows last weekend, stopped by the website, and said hello on myspace!

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Is Chicago, Is Not Chicago

The first night of my week here at Zanies was pretty fun and relatively easy because due to a few showcase sets in the lineup I only had to do a 10-minute set instead of the usual 30. Tough work sometimes, being a comic. Ten whole minutes.

It was great to be back on Wells St. at one of the oldest school comedy clubs in the country, and I had even more fun after the show when I ducked out to an independent comedy room at a bar in Lakeview. The show was over but most of the people were still hanging out at the bar and it was a swell time.

Chicago bars are great, and I can still have a great time at one even though I'm not drinking these days. Who knew?

I better get some rest though, tomorrow I'll have to do my entire 30-minute set. Such a grind.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Lancaster, OH

All of the checkout girls at the Best Buy here by my hotel are bleach blonde and unnaturally tan, I'm somewhat frightened.

Then again, maybe I'm just a bit delerious after getting up at 5:30am and driving 10 hours. And my show tonight's not until midnight, so that means it's time to take a disco nap.

Someone give me a wakeup call around 9pm eastern, please.

Oh, I almost forgot: my new videoblog Life as a Comic is up and running. Every couple weeks I'll post a short little vid about what it's like to be a comedian and getting to travel to exotic places like southeastern Ohio.